It is the wee hours of September 20th.
One year ago today I was on my way to the doctor's office for an appointment that would confirm, according to my doctor father, at least, that I had cancer.
A year ago tonight, I was in my friend's basement (known here as Guiness. The friend, that is, not his basement) almost crying because of the daunting day ahead.
And then the appointment came. Tests were done, machines beeped, doctors went to find other doctors to look at ultrasounds and scratch their heads. In the end they came up with the most outlandish description of how I had some kind of tumor-esque thing going on that wasn't actually cancerous at all. The shock registered before the joy, but once the joy hit, I was ecstatic. I feel like I have a vague idea of what it must've been like for the blind man to have his sight given to him.
And then I went out telling people. I went shouting from the rooftops about God's goodness, because he had saved me from this fatal disease. It became my new evangelism schtick.
One of the people I told was Crepe:
"Crepe, guess what! I don't have cancer!"
"No way! That's awesome! I was praying for you all day!"
"Yeah, God is SO good, wow!"
and then there was a pause.
and then, in a moment of gentle-yet-convicting wisdom that only Crepe can pull off, she asked,
"But would God still be good if it was cancer?"
more to come on this later
Friday, September 19, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Icing on the Cake
Being a passionate lover of metaphor, here's a light-hearted one that came to me while on some bus departing from Kildonan Place with someone very dear to me, who, sticking with the food-names, will be called Omlette.
Anyway, I digress.
We all know what, "icing on the cake" means. It means that the cake is complete, whole, finished, not left in wanting, but that something more has been added to it to make it EVEN better.
Our relationship with God needs to be like that cake. Of course, our relationship with God is never 'finished' (in the sense that there's no more room from growth), but we need to be content with God, to truly agree with Paul when he says "to live is Christ and to die is gain". That's the cake.
Then there's the temporal good stuff of life, let's use the example of a relationship. A relationship is the icing on the cake. It's not necessary for its wholeness, but it definitely makes it considerably sweeter.
:)
Anyway, I digress.
We all know what, "icing on the cake" means. It means that the cake is complete, whole, finished, not left in wanting, but that something more has been added to it to make it EVEN better.
Our relationship with God needs to be like that cake. Of course, our relationship with God is never 'finished' (in the sense that there's no more room from growth), but we need to be content with God, to truly agree with Paul when he says "to live is Christ and to die is gain". That's the cake.
Then there's the temporal good stuff of life, let's use the example of a relationship. A relationship is the icing on the cake. It's not necessary for its wholeness, but it definitely makes it considerably sweeter.
:)
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tour Guides
Sometimes you look back in life and, in retrospect, realize the profound impact that some simple event or person or word had on your view of things. Other times, you realize the effect it's having right when you experience it. Today on the #55 bus on Beliveau, reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, was one of those times.
"Notice what [Paul] does in the Book of Acts. He visits the city of Lystra, which hasn't heard of Jesus or the God Paul believes in, and he tried to figure out how to explain his Christian worldview to them. He tells them , "[God] has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy."
Paul essentially asks his audience: Have you had enough food? Who do you think it comes from?
Has it rained so your crops could grow? Who do you think did that?
Have you ever laughed? Who do you think made that possible?
Missions, then, is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there [...] you see God where others don't. And then you point him out.
Perhaps we ought to replace the word missionary with tour guide, because we cannot show people something we haven't seen.
(Back to Josh's voice now) Of course this raises a ton of questions (not to mention a few eyebrows), but its a completely different angle on evangelism, one that will definitely change the way I share the gospel, whether it be at school, downtown, in some distant jungle, or frick, even on the #55 bus on Beliveau.
"Notice what [Paul] does in the Book of Acts. He visits the city of Lystra, which hasn't heard of Jesus or the God Paul believes in, and he tried to figure out how to explain his Christian worldview to them. He tells them , "[God] has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy."
Paul essentially asks his audience: Have you had enough food? Who do you think it comes from?
Has it rained so your crops could grow? Who do you think did that?
Have you ever laughed? Who do you think made that possible?
Missions, then, is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there [...] you see God where others don't. And then you point him out.
Perhaps we ought to replace the word missionary with tour guide, because we cannot show people something we haven't seen.
(Back to Josh's voice now) Of course this raises a ton of questions (not to mention a few eyebrows), but its a completely different angle on evangelism, one that will definitely change the way I share the gospel, whether it be at school, downtown, in some distant jungle, or frick, even on the #55 bus on Beliveau.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Stockholm Syndrome
Stockholm Syndrome: a psychological response sometimes seen in an abducted hostage, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger (or at least risk) in which they have been placed.
Thank-you, Wikipedia.
God freed me from a lot this summer. A lot of misconceptions of Him, a lot of destructive habits and relationships, a lot of negative thought patterns. But lately I've felt like the Israelites moaning and groaning in the desert, thinking life was better back in Egypt.
The best word to describe it is discomfort. I feel ungrateful saying this, but I had learned to be quite comfortable in my moping depression. And nothing keeps you warm at night like a burning grudge.
Every circumstance is a blessing from God. If it brings you closer to Him, it doesn't matter if the circumstance is 'good' or 'bad'. The challenge is to grow closer to him in both. I'm pretty sure I mastered 'bad', but now its time to figure out 'good'.
Thankfully the Psalmist struggled with the same thing. Psalm 116 literally just blew my mind with its extraordinary relevance. Go read it.
Thank-you, Wikipedia.
God freed me from a lot this summer. A lot of misconceptions of Him, a lot of destructive habits and relationships, a lot of negative thought patterns. But lately I've felt like the Israelites moaning and groaning in the desert, thinking life was better back in Egypt.
The best word to describe it is discomfort. I feel ungrateful saying this, but I had learned to be quite comfortable in my moping depression. And nothing keeps you warm at night like a burning grudge.
Every circumstance is a blessing from God. If it brings you closer to Him, it doesn't matter if the circumstance is 'good' or 'bad'. The challenge is to grow closer to him in both. I'm pretty sure I mastered 'bad', but now its time to figure out 'good'.
Thankfully the Psalmist struggled with the same thing. Psalm 116 literally just blew my mind with its extraordinary relevance. Go read it.
Delicate Art vs Reckless Abandon
A homeless guy approached me today.
Actually, that's a lie. I approached him. I'd talked to him before, and I saw him outside of Calvary Temple this evening, so I went to ask how he was doing. He couldn't remember my name, but remembered where we had talked. He said things were not going well, and updated me on the list of new illnesses and maladies that were plaguing him and his wife. He gave me a very thorough description of their needs, both health and financial. Upon hearing this, I was disturbed by the usual questions about the validity of his needs and what he was actually going to do with the money I gave him.
Last time I talked with this guy, I received some very wise words from a friend of mine whom I greatly respected. We'll call her Crepe (I like giving my friends food names). She said that God, in giving just as in all things, cares more about the motivation behind the action than the action itself. So if giving (or not giving) is done out of suspicion or prejudice, that is not bringing glory to God the way giving cheerfully does.
Discernment has always been something I struggle with. Judgment is something I ask God to help me with quite regularly, but I think in this case it would be merely over-complicating things.
Giving is not a delicate art, it is reckless abandon.
Jesus never said "I was naked and you clothed me, I was hungry and you fed me, I was poor and you didn't help me out because you suspected I might blow it on smokes."
Actually, that's a lie. I approached him. I'd talked to him before, and I saw him outside of Calvary Temple this evening, so I went to ask how he was doing. He couldn't remember my name, but remembered where we had talked. He said things were not going well, and updated me on the list of new illnesses and maladies that were plaguing him and his wife. He gave me a very thorough description of their needs, both health and financial. Upon hearing this, I was disturbed by the usual questions about the validity of his needs and what he was actually going to do with the money I gave him.
Last time I talked with this guy, I received some very wise words from a friend of mine whom I greatly respected. We'll call her Crepe (I like giving my friends food names). She said that God, in giving just as in all things, cares more about the motivation behind the action than the action itself. So if giving (or not giving) is done out of suspicion or prejudice, that is not bringing glory to God the way giving cheerfully does.
Discernment has always been something I struggle with. Judgment is something I ask God to help me with quite regularly, but I think in this case it would be merely over-complicating things.
Giving is not a delicate art, it is reckless abandon.
Jesus never said "I was naked and you clothed me, I was hungry and you fed me, I was poor and you didn't help me out because you suspected I might blow it on smokes."
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Magic vs Logic
I have just returned from a four month stint of euphoric bliss in the hidden gem known as Camp Nutimik. It was wonderful. When people ask me why it was so wonderful, my answer (on a personal level, at least) is always the same: It was a chance for God to take me out of my circumstances (which were dismal at best), and start a relationship with me that transcended said circumstances. Instead of basing my perception of Him on the events around me, I will base my perception of the events around me on His goodness and sovereignty. And that rocks.
But it leads me to wonder...is this transformation a magical one or a logical one? It's clearly nothing short of a miracle, but did God take my mind and heart and do a total makeover? Or did he simply give me a purpose at camp that took a higher priority than all the problems, stresses, and temptations of city life?
A skeptic would undoubtedly say (haha, that sentence makes me chuckle...can a skeptic say ANYTHING undoubtedly?) that the change I've experienced was merely a result of having a purpose that therefore distracted me from said problems, stresses, and temptations. And I would have to agree. It's difficult to disagree with a skeptic who clearly explains how a logical surgery can save a life.
But the reason I deem this good enough to put on the interweb for the benefit of millions of faceless readers is this: We need to learn to see the magic in logic. We can't let our ability to explain a miracle (whether it be a life changed at camp or a life saved by surgery) take away from our awe at the end result. Why must something be above our level of reasoning for it to woo us? Afterall, reason itself is God's invention...suck on that, skeptics! :P
But it leads me to wonder...is this transformation a magical one or a logical one? It's clearly nothing short of a miracle, but did God take my mind and heart and do a total makeover? Or did he simply give me a purpose at camp that took a higher priority than all the problems, stresses, and temptations of city life?
A skeptic would undoubtedly say (haha, that sentence makes me chuckle...can a skeptic say ANYTHING undoubtedly?) that the change I've experienced was merely a result of having a purpose that therefore distracted me from said problems, stresses, and temptations. And I would have to agree. It's difficult to disagree with a skeptic who clearly explains how a logical surgery can save a life.
But the reason I deem this good enough to put on the interweb for the benefit of millions of faceless readers is this: We need to learn to see the magic in logic. We can't let our ability to explain a miracle (whether it be a life changed at camp or a life saved by surgery) take away from our awe at the end result. Why must something be above our level of reasoning for it to woo us? Afterall, reason itself is God's invention...suck on that, skeptics! :P
Why is a blog?
This is the question I ask myself as I embark on this blogging adventure. You see, a blog is not a diary. It is not a bowl for your mind and heart to vomit in whenever they please. If a diary is a raw jam session, a blog is a studio album...honest, yet refined to a point where its meaning transcends the literal events on which the songs are based. I want this blog to be pensive without being melodramatic, philosophical without being meaningless, and honest while still being Truthful. Or Truthful while still being honest...I'm not sure which side of the razor's edge is easier to fall from.
Anyway, if this blog fails to be any of these things, let me know. Or, if you are capable of extracting my home address from various online sources, please come to my house and smack me upside the head.
Thank you.
Anyway, if this blog fails to be any of these things, let me know. Or, if you are capable of extracting my home address from various online sources, please come to my house and smack me upside the head.
Thank you.
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