It is the wee hours of September 20th.
One year ago today I was on my way to the doctor's office for an appointment that would confirm, according to my doctor father, at least, that I had cancer.
A year ago tonight, I was in my friend's basement (known here as Guiness. The friend, that is, not his basement) almost crying because of the daunting day ahead.
And then the appointment came. Tests were done, machines beeped, doctors went to find other doctors to look at ultrasounds and scratch their heads. In the end they came up with the most outlandish description of how I had some kind of tumor-esque thing going on that wasn't actually cancerous at all. The shock registered before the joy, but once the joy hit, I was ecstatic. I feel like I have a vague idea of what it must've been like for the blind man to have his sight given to him.
And then I went out telling people. I went shouting from the rooftops about God's goodness, because he had saved me from this fatal disease. It became my new evangelism schtick.
One of the people I told was Crepe:
"Crepe, guess what! I don't have cancer!"
"No way! That's awesome! I was praying for you all day!"
"Yeah, God is SO good, wow!"
and then there was a pause.
and then, in a moment of gentle-yet-convicting wisdom that only Crepe can pull off, she asked,
"But would God still be good if it was cancer?"
more to come on this later
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1 comment:
I have never been more convinced that our life is not about requesting and getting things from God, whether it be material, health, social, or success...but it is about intimate relationship separate from situation and circumstance.
I wonder if we cling to much to the metaphors of God being father or friend, where we rage when He doesn't live up to the expectations we have of a perfect friend or father...we forget that He is God and Creator first and foremost...and our lives and our communion with him are explicitly unbelievable...and yet so many resort to simply asking for their sore back to be healed or to land a job they had been pining for...things that to a God would seem beyond trivial compared to how he can change us emotionally, spiritually, and eternally.
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